i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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