i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
