Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
