I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Can Purell be used as lube?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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