ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
