I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He felt like a one man threesome
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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