a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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