Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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