my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
