she was so not down for the gang bang
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
