Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
