But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
