normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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