Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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