he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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