Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
