i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
