his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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