it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
