I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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