It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
How does one acquire holy water?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
