Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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