I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
