i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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