You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
