How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Dick very happy bro
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
