It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
