as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
