What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
