At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
