Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Im part way to drunk.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
