I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
