So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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