i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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