he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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