You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
