Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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