wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
