Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
