Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
