i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
