Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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