at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
