I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
