his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
