And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
