What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
