I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
