there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
