mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
