Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
