I am spending my child support on dildos
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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