i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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