So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
