Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
